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Check On Your Strong Friend

Connecting with others is a feminist act.  Reaching out and saying “hey, let’s have a chat about what is going on with you” is a radical act of bucking against apathy and dismissiveness, against learned behaviours that people use to insulate themselves.

In the wake of a spate of celebrity suicides the world seems to let out a collective sigh. We are experiencing a communal trauma at a rate that is more often than ever before; thanks to the digital age. Is it the biggest trauma in the world? No, not at all, but it is constant. A steady stream of small trauma that we can’t seem to escape. 

Over time the saturation levels are maxed out and even seeing an article praising the good deeds of someone that has taken their own life can send you into a weird funk, depressed and staring at your screen.

Often those people are the “strong” friends. The ones there for you. The ones that can’t reach out because they are likely on their phone late into the night listening to three different friends tell them just how that chef with a good heart and great wit changed their lives.

Reach out to those friends. Let them know you are there for them and that you are listening. Ask them to catch up. Ask them for a cuppa. Tell them that you want to see them smiling.

Connect with the people around you that you love, strong or otherwise, because that is how you hold people up.

Nadine Chemali is a Cultural Consultant & Social Worker. She runs The Femmo Collective, a support group and referral service for women, NB & gender fluid people. You can read her work over at SBS and VICE and find her/ Femmo Collective on Facebook and Twitter